We all have self images of ourselves. We are bigger, stronger, more courageous than the lesser of those around us. However, what happens when you get a reality check.
In a meeting, a presenter was giving a lesson on stereotypes in masculinity and femininity. I had seen this lesson before. Stereotypical images of men and women in advertising would be shown, and they we would have to comment on it. The images would most likely show the worst stereotypes….
4 images into the presentation, the images became sexualized and depicted photo-shopped images of scantily clad clothes selling makeup or purses or something of the like. Then, from behind me one of my colleagues said loudly: “Finally, some decent images to look at during PD”
Stunned, I said nothing. I thought of saying: “Inappropriate and unwelcome.” But I didn’t. Why not? Here was part of my calculus.
My relationship with that particular colleague has always been strained. If I don’t have positive stuff to say to him, I don’t say anything. He is also in a precarious situation in his life (by his own admission. He is undergoing a variety of hardships). The presenter was trying to race through a 2 hour presentation in 30 minutes, and dropping an accusation would have derailed the presentation. Also, this particular person, tends to get angry and yell, and it was long week and I didn’t need that at week’s end. By the time I ran through all these thoughts, the 5 seconds for that picture had passed and we were on to other images, and I felt like the moment had passed.
I told the boss at the end that he should talk to my coworker to complete my cowardly act.
In the end, that’s what it was. I was cowardly. I did not have the strength of will to stand up and do the right thing. If that comment was about certain ethnicity would I have stood up? If it was a cultural differences, would I have stood up? Would I have stood up if I was in a position of power? I like to think that I would have stood up if a student had said it.
I thought about this all afternoon. I lost sleep about this. The next morning I sent a note of apology to the instructor.